Chapter 9: Trayvon — Sex, adore, and Like in Prison2

Chapter 9: Trayvon — Sex, adore, and Like in Prison2

Just just exactly What had been the possibilities things could wind up violently between us — beside me, needless to say, having the shitty end? Might Trayvon force himself that I was unwilling to simply accept but struggling to stop? On me personally in ways! We were holding perhaps maybe maybe not questions that are idle. We thought long and difficult relating to this, however in the end We decided that no, he’dn’t do this. According to exactly just what, you ask? Good question — we don’t understand.

Another consideration ended up being, the thing that was Trayvon getting away from this relationship? Obviously, he’d have yourself an intercourse partner as well as least some use of my canteen account. We knew he previously simply no cash, in which he knew that I experienced at the least some funds. Possibly he had been actually interested in me personally and then he had been a mooch — we represented a chance to meet both requirements! Ended up being here such a thing undoubtedly incorrect with that? Only at that very very early phase we told myself that for as long as he didn’t get too greedy I happened to be fine to allow him have soup or even a honey bun as he desired one thing. Why shouldn’t I reward him for their relationship? All things considered, we endured to have something using this too — unlike my situation at Swift Annex I’d have jail bad-ass on my part just in case i obtained threatened or harassed.

Did Trayvon have HIV or other STD? Needless to say he said no and said he previously to obtain tested periodically and blah blah blah. I did son’t press the presssing problem or insist upon seeing the test outcomes. Alternatively I asked myself — keep in mind, this person had been assigned to kitchen duty — Would my state’s DOC designate a guy with HIV compared to that types of work? I’d to think the clear answer had been no, no chance. Other inmates later on laughed inside my confidence in DOC! Additionally, he wasn’t taking any meds — either K.O.P. (“keep on person”) or dose that is single. Consequently we judged him become healthier.

Had been I really the only guy he had been striking on or are there other people — either immediately in my own dorm or in your kitchen where he worked sixdays per week? Did we worry about that? A jail dorm is mostly about the smallest amount of personal destination you can reside in, and so I could see the majority of Trayvon’s interactions with other people. He previously other buddies, black colored & white. Achieved it seem like he had been striking on some of those dudes? Response — no. As to whether we cared, we must’ve cared or I wouldn’t have now been spending a great deal attention. But we told myself we cared perhaps perhaps maybe not away from jealousy but because I became nevertheless trying to puzzle out their motives that are real focused on getting an STD.

I inquired myself: me unfaithful to my ex-wife with whom I hoped to reconcile when I got out if I do this does that make? Exactly just What would which means that? We had been divorced!

Could achieving this somehow turn me personally homosexual after a very long time to be that is straight minimum since it relates to grownups? I did son’t know yet because I’dn’t had this experience yet. But I was thinking — no. I happened to be building an exception that is special this “friend with benefits, ” an exception that will end as soon as we ended. We thought, “Trayvon is really a situation that is unique. How many other young black colored dudes might be enthusiastic about a mature white guy? ” Up to now, i did son’t feel any gayer. I became simply messing around and having some disgusting fun. It absolutely was a jail thing.

Before looking at the prospective advantages Trayvon had to provide as a “friend with advantages” i want to say one final instead serious issue that I didn’t think of in front of time — although in hindsight i truly must have! Which was, assume we had been discovered? Assume rumors about us started initially to fly round the dorm simply because I became investing lots of time loitering Trayvon’s bunk and we’re smiling at each and every other a great deal? Exactly just What would we do, if any such thing, to squelch such rumors?

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